3.09.2017

#ILOVEME

It was very difficult for me to embrace myself. I don't remember exactly when it was started. Umm, when I was on elementary school, I guess? Evey single member on my big family told me that I'm such a fat pig, and they started compare me with ms sister and my brother which was so much thinner than me. I know I know, it was a joke but, boom!! Voila! The main effect of those joke I never accepted myself. I mean, I often mocked myself in front of the mirror and told to myself how fat I am. I felt insecure of myself, everyone looks so pretty and thin, and look at me such a big-foot-girl. And yeah, I hate several part of my body (include my foot).

I felt more insecure when my family member started to criticized my appearance, not just about my fat body. They started to criticized my hair, my face, even my pimples. I did hate my hair, I remember when my brother yelled and point at me "Medusa" or "Bird's nest" he was too much about my curly hair. I think it was the reason why I straightened my hair. The fact, I often compared myself to the other when I crushed on somebody and ended with feeling inferior (maybe that's why difficult for me to get in relationship). And sadly, even if many of my friends told that I'm not fat just ideal weight (it was 48kg/160cm) but I still can't believe it.

(When I was freshman year college, I felt kind of freedom where I can whatever I want and no need to care about other thing because my family away. But the only way for healing myself was drawing, drawing about myself. That was the reason why I always keep myself as a muse of almost all pictures I made, I want to love myself. And from drawing, I can learn to love myself. No, I'm not self centered. This is just a kind of medicine for myself to accept me.

My friend just asked me to join her campaign about self-love and confidence embrace our body. I do really want to love myself and educate women about love their body because we deserve more love to ourselves. #loveyourself!!

2.24.2017

Lombok: Beach Lover's Heaven

I visited Lombok when new year 2017 with my family. It was our first time family-moment on 2017. Quite difficult to made time together because all of us has our own schedule. I have two worked parents with different job, one occupied older sister, plus college student little brother (we're in different university). We made this schedule so sudden just D-2, when my mom called me "are you coming with us?" And I definitely said yes!!







First destination after we just arrived was Seger Beach. There was totally great and amazing!! No kidding I haven't seen that kind pretty beach before. The water was so blue (in many shades) and so clear as crystal, a little wave, a cradle in the midle of the sea so you can just swing and feel the summer breeze and water as bonus, plus super shiny day ( as I heard from my daddy's friend that Lombok was cloudy and sometimes rain lately--I guess we were lucky that time).
At the same day, we also went to Tanjung An beach. There was beautiful too, even my mom said that the Seger beach was prettier but still for me Tanjung An kind of great beach too! After visited those beaches we just went to the hotel beacuse I can even felt my bones are broken.

Here the details:
Top: Hammer
Skirt: Surfer Girl
Sunglasses: Cartier
Scarf: Vintage













Second day, we went to historical place like Mayura palace (I used term 'palace' because it used to meeting point for kings there) and one more historical place that I forget. Thosw places are quite cool for you who love historical place and will be quite boring for the one who doesn't really into (like my mom, I can't even know how many times she told us to move to the other place). After we visited those place, we went to Pandanan beach (yeah, beach again because everywhere is beach right here. I mean, when we ride somewhere we will see beach over and over again). Honestly this beach not that pretty as we visited before but still it was beach!

Here the details:
Ruffle top: Stradivarius
Skirt: Dorothy Perkins
Sling bag: Cocolyn, Zalora
Rings: New Look
Shoes/sandal: Rubi





Details:
Jeans top: Matahari Department Store
Skirt: Surfer Girl
Neck-piece: unbranded, actuallt it was bandana
Hat: from Lombok
Sunglasses: Cartier



Basically, third day same as days before we went to beaches again. But the best part here when I was trying to surf at Selong Belanak beach because why not testing your adrenaline hormones? I actually very afraid because I can't even swim! On this day was new year eve and there were thousands fireworks but I was too sleepy and yeah I decided to sleep early.



Last day! We just visited Sade Village, a cultural place plus tourism place. At this village, they sell their own handmade weave piece. People there whose 40 years old above can't speak in bahasa, plus they usually marry their own cousin. We just visited there a little while because didn't have much time here and we need to chase the airplane.
Being there even if just for a little moment, such an amazing experience and yeah my skin getting tanner but still I'm totally happy!

2.18.2017

Friday as Free-Day?








I just got back from my KKN. Totally tired and need lot of rest because I used my major energy lately and yeah I am getting closer with next semester. I honestly blessed cause I got cooperative team and not-so-bad placement of KKN so at least my friends and I could do our best programs there. But, no kidding for me staying at home and lay in my bed are another level of luxury (especially when you are old-semester scholar). It took me a blink to go back from "I want to go travel around the world" to being my complete opposite side, a stay-at-home. What a vice versa!

I am a kind home person (especially on rainy days so I need more warm thing like this sweater). Some days when I feel like avoiding human interaction and doing random act of isolation, I could stay at home for couple days or week maybe? And surely keep myself well entertained. So here are some ideas of things you can do when you're at home or wondering what to do from the cancelled plan:

1. Read bunch of books that you haven't finished yet.
2. Drink cups of caffeine with melancholic atmosphere. 
3. Music oh music and shake it off.
4. Cook even if you can't because 14055 or 14022 always on your side when you're failed. 
5. Eat a lot, I mean you can even order pizza for yourself.
6. DIY nail art for the sake of your own happiness. 
7. Watch korean drama and make sure you prepare box of tissues.
8. Watch tv dramas that you always passed cause of you're out of somewhere. 
9. Testing the artist soul inside your body with sketch book and several colouring tools.
10. Take a long time nap, call me sleepy head.
11. Take a long deep bath.
12. Laughing out loud just because something funny across your mind.
13. Arguing with yourself for texting your ex or not.
14. Try some make up plus mix and match clothes based on your favorite movies and preferences. 
15. Take pictures of some attractive objects around you.
16. See rain from your favorite window corner with a cup instant coffee.
17. Doing some DIY for adding your cute stuff.
18. Online shopping! 


The point is: you need more practice to mastered the art of doing nothing while actually doing so much more for yourself, staying in is the new going out. Anyway, what's your best staying at home ideas you have in your mind?








2.11.2017

Comeback




Hi! Finally I'm back!
I've been at Sampang, Madura lately for my academic community service, in Indonesia as known as KKN. So yeah, tons of things my friends and I did there for helped the government to reach their goals (we helped enrich them with more educations about many things such as economics, health, environment). I found many things to learn, I found about other cultures, and the most significant thing about social/ human relations there.
Mostly I spent my time for reached their primary schools, teached about many things. Frankly I'm a kind of 'ugh, please no child' club but there I had no choice. So I did many interactions with them, and I found something cute about them. I remember when first time I went to their school, a bob-hair girl with sweet smile asked me "Hi. When will you come to my class?" (In bahasa) and I answered "Hi. Tomorrow we'll be on your class." She looked so happy and excited about our existence there.
(About my experience with child, I already posted couples pictures on Instagram you can check my Instagram @malisamalie)







Anyway, before my friends and I (in a team) spread away and back to our own life, we decided to go to somewhere. So we decided to go to 'Jaddih Hill' there was amazing and cool for taking much pictures. You can see the beautiful scenery from the top of the hill. I haven't reach the top anyway, because it was rain so we just took several pictures.














Been together approximately last one month and surprisingly I do really like these people. I may not really agree about several things about them, but it doesn't matter. I learned many things lately, especially about understanding others with their relevant or even irrelevant logic. Frankly when first time I went pessimistic, can I blend with them? But yeah, we made it! We shared many things, about laughs, silly things together and tons mocked same things we hate a lot (let's say nothing greater than couples people hate the same things). So yeah, I love these people, I think we're great team!